Today, the Ludic Log continues its occasional interview series, speaking via internet telephony with Zhang Jianmin, father of Zhang Huimin, who has made headlines recently as she attempts to complete a marathon  run from southern China's Hainan province to the capital of Beijing.

LL:  Mr. Zhang, thank you for joining us today.

ZJ:  Thank you.  It is an honor to be featured in a publication as repsected as the Times of New York.

LL:  Actually, this is not the New York Times.  We are a small, rarely updated web log that mostly features jokes about MODOK and French post-structuralist.

ZJ:  But you are read in New York, yes?  Home of the Yankees?

LL:  Theoretically, yes.

ZJ:  This is sufficient.

LL:  How is the marathon going?

ZJ:  Excellent.  Huimin has just now arrived Guangzhou after running nearly a thousand kilometers in a fortnight.  She is in good spirits and is eager to start running again tomorrow, in order to get some food and water.

LL:  And your daughter is how old?

ZJ:  She is eight.

LL:  Many people believe that running twenty-five miles a day is too rigorous for an eight-year-old girl.

ZJ:  These are simply western misconceptions.  Here in China, women are more robust and quite used to physical labor.  Huimin's mother, for example, used to carry a ton and a half of grain from one end of our pig farm to the other every single day.

LL:  To what end?

ZJ:  I could never decide where it looked better.

LL:  And how long did she carry out this routine.

ZJ:  For four years, until her untimely and unexpected death from a massive spinal compaction.

LL:  Nonetheless, you cannot deny that many of your most severe critics have been your fellow Chinese.  The press, sports medicine experts, educators, and other athletes have spoken out against your training routine.

ZJ:  If what I was doing was wrong, the government would have stopped me.

LL:  And they haven't?

ZJ:  They haven't been able to find me yet.

LL:  There are accusations that you're just trying to make a profit off of your daughter.

ZJ:  That is nonsense. The athletic shoe endorsement I got from Neke is merely going to help my daughter fulfill her dream of buying me a vacation to Hawaii.

LL:  Does the endorsement deal feature any kind of non-completion clauses?  Will you still receive the full amount if she does't make it all 2600 miles to Beijing?

ZJ:  No, but I do still get all the money if she drops dead, if she happens to be wearing the shoes at the time.

LL:  You believe that your daighter might be able to compete in the 2016 Olympics, is that correct?

ZJ:  I believe so, yes.  That is, if all the naysayers in the press do not sap her confidence.  My little girl has only one goal:  to run very far and win an award an a large amount of cash for doing so.  But when all she hears every day from her fellow countrymen, who should be supporting her, is "heatstroke this" and "child abuse that" and "permanently crippled before she reaches adolescence" the other, it is bound to have a negative effect on her will to win.

LL:  Could we speak to Huimin?

ZJ:  I'm afraid not.  She can only speak Chinese.

LL:  Well, we have a Chinese translator on staff here.

ZJ:  She speaks a very rare Hainan dialect.

LL:  Our translator is from Haikou.

ZJ:  It is only spoken by myself and immediate members of our family.

LL:  So just you and...

ZJ:  Huimin's brother, Zhenggui.

LL:  How old is he?

ZJ:  Six.

LL:  And is he an athlete as well?

ZJ:  Yes.  What people do not understand is that I am only trying to fulfill my children's desires.  Their dreams belong to them, not to me.  It is Huimin's desire to run all the way across the country wearing a suit of chainmail and drinking half a glass of vinegar a day, not mine.  It breaks my heart that some people do not wish to see a little girl's dream come true.

LL:  And do you think Zhenggui's dream will come true?

ZJ:  Sadly, I do not.  The international Olympic committee refuses to sanction being beating by a rake handle as a medal-winning event.

LL:  Is it true that your daughter only sleeps five hours a night?

ZJ:  That is normal.

LL:  No it isn't.

ZJ:  It is in China.

LL:  No.

ZJ:  It is if you have to run 25 miles a day in order to avoid being hung upside down by your ankles. 

LL:  Do you have any endorsement deals on the horizon?

ZJ:  Yes, we do.  Chengdou Pharmaceutical Concern wishes to have Huimin endorse the amphetamines I have been force-feeding her; Shining Green Rooster Home Correction Industry would like me to use their billy club exclusively on both children; and, of course, Gatorade is interested.

LL:  Really?

ZJ:  Well, they want me to sign an affadavit stating that I do not abuse the girl.

LL:  So they're asking you to change her rather draconian training regimen?

ZJ:  No, they're asking me to sign an affadavit stating that I have done so.

LL:  Well, thank you for taking the time to speak to us, Mr. Zhang.  One final question:  what happens after you're done?  Assuming your daughter survives the marathon and does well in the Beijing Olympics, where do you go from there?

ZJ:  My hope is Mars.

LL:  You mean you'd like her to become an astronaut?

ZJ:  No, I would like her to run from Earth to Mars.

LL:  I don't think that's physically possibe.

ZJ:  Many people didn't think it was physically possible for an eight-year-old girl to be attacked nightly by a trained hog and still run 40 kilometers the next day, but here we are.

Permanent Link
Previous Entry ~ Current Entry ~ Next Entry
E-mail the Ludic Log ~ Find Me Out

"The most useful criticism in any art is new work done with the same tools." (John Szarkowski)